So yesterday was my first day back at my family practice clinic after a month of being away for a rural rotation and I had so much fun!
First there was a lady who after we addressed her complaints, she said how she kept clearing mucous out of her throat and she demonstrated it over and over with the most wierd sound that I just cannot put into words and she kept saying "like this" and doing it over and over again for the rest of our encounter.
Then there was the guy who pulled a muscle and told me every detail except how it happened and after I asked he finally said he pulled it during sex.
Then there was one of my patients who is always trying to get me to prescribe diet pills to no availe, bless her heart. She tells me about her eating habits and exercising and adds how she already told one of my colleagues "You know, the scruffy one!" as she gestures a beard. He grows a beard every hunting season. She makes the wierdest face and says "Did he shave that yet?" I was laughing so hard. He and I are always teasing so I've got to tell him.
Then the couple. The guy has COPD and is coughing and wheezing so I gave him a steroid shot and an updraft and as he takes the updraft he leans his head back and squints his eyes pretending like he is smoking weed and getting high and his wife is like "Stop that!!" He says how when he coughs, his forehead hurts so bad and she is like "It's probably those devil horns trying to poke through"
I love my patients. LOL. Welcome back.